Here's the latest from Beanie...
He went for open mike night at a bar in Long Beach only to be told that they only allow singers and no longer allow stand-up after an "unfortunate situation" with a comedian the previous month. Beanie was steamed for having to make the drive so he decided to console himself with a trip to McDonalds.
Normally one wouldn't expect Mickey D's to be a hotbed for adventure, but my Beanie Boy is a magnet for the unexpected to happen. There he was munching away on cheeseburgers trying to hide behind a pillar. Why? There was a group of five highly intoxicated gay men. Five men who found my lurking son attractive and apparently made overtures. Overtures that Beanie swears will scar him for life.
Okay, I admit it. I was laughing my butt off at this point to which my son exclaims, "Mom, you are laughing and I'm scarred for life!" I told him it was good fodder for his act.
"Oh," he says, "that reminds me. I auditioned for this comedy thing at school and I'm one of the finalists."
"Really? That's great sweetie."
"Yeah, guess what material they liked best?"
"Bean, people are going to think I'm a horrible person!"
"Do you still tell people that we used to tell you that you would be "returned" because you were naughty and adopted?"
"You know people are going to think your Mom really said stuff like that to you!"
"Oh my God Mom you are hilarious!"
"I'm hilarious because I don't want people to believe I ever said I was sending you back?"
To which my darling son replies...
"Did I tell you about my new routine where I talk about how you made us clean dirt?"
I just want to go on record right now. I NEVER, NOT ONCE told either of my children I could (or would) send them back for misbehaving or not cleaning their rooms. If you ever hear that I did, remember that it's just a joke... Then whistle and applaud loudly for the young comedian and imagine what a wonderful and tolerant mother he must have.
As for the dirt thing, let's just say there may have been dirt, there may have been rakes and Beanie might have been involved.