A big family, a reading addiction, and the occasional celebrity scandal are the ingredients of life that create one woman's opinion on just about everything.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Utah...Here we come!

Here it is...beautiful St. George, Utah. Come Thursday morning we are taking off for St. George so the guy I live with can run in the marathon on Saturday.

For those of you who don't know, a marathon is 26.2 miles. Don't ask me to explain what motivates any human being to run/walk/crawl for 26.2 miles, but I can assure you that some 7,000 people will be doing it in St. George this coming weekend. I'm always awed and inspired each and every time I attend one of these events. You can't help but get a tear in your eye when you see some of the participants. For every person in the marathon there is a wonderful and often amazing back story.

This is the fifth time in 7 years Greg is running in St. George. It was also the place of his first marathon. We love it because it's so beautiful and the community is so darn nice and welcoming to the runners who come in and take over the town the first weekend in October every year.

Don't think this is just one fun weekend for me. Oh no...I have some strenous stuff to do too. I have to make the big decision of whether to try and see my guy out on the course this year or just wait at the finish line. Should I get up at the ungodly hour of 4 a.m. when he does, or just set the alarm to get up at 8 a.m.? Should I have breakfast or wait until the race is over to eat? Decisions, decisions. It's a full plate, but I have my previous years experience and training to see me through. I think I can manage one more time. Besides, this year I 'll have the company of my sister-in-law Michelle and my new baby niece Kaden who will be there to cheer for my brother Chris, who is also running.

Of course, it is also my job to stew and worry about whether first year college boy and cute E-mo kid will kill each other while we are out of town. Right now they are full of promises and brotherly love. They are motivated by the thought that the only thing worse than spending time with each other is spending 10 hours in the car with their parents in one weekend.

The little dears pretend to be worried they are disappointing us by not going. We don't have the heart to to tell them how overjoyed we are they decided to stay home. Isn't funny how our kids think we can't wait to spend our every waking moment with them? I swear I've told them that I have a life. Everything I do doesn't have to include them. They laugh and say..."Yeah, right, sure you do Mom!"

If they only knew. Poor deluded schmucks. ; )

The important thing is my boyfriend and I will get some alone time. Even though we live in the same house, sleep together, eat at least one meal together a day it never seems like we get to say much more than a necessary exchange of information. So the time in the car will be great for us to chat and catch up on some stuff, listen to music WE like and just be together.


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Monday, September 26, 2005

What is REALITY anyway?

You know the age old, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there does it make a sound?" I read an article Jennifer Crusie wrote for RWA about what is reality and truth when you are writing a book and want to get it published.

Many of the things she said apply to just about any dream or goal we have in life. It goes back to other old adages like, "You might as well please yourself because then at least one person will be happy."

Even though there are things we know, intellectually, it's nice to have a gentle reminder, or a graphic one like the rats and the island Jenny has in her article. It's good to be reminded that we shouldn't worry about how our dreams (work) will be accepted before we even start. No one would get started on anything at that rate.

It also reminded me of a line Robert Redford says in the movie "Out of Africa" when he is discussing his life choices with Meryl Streep's character. He says, "I didn't want to wake up one day realizing I've lived someone else's life."

So what does all my meandering around this topic mean? What am I trying to say? Well, I guess I'm tellling myself that it's okay to pursue a dream and to do something because you just feel in your own heart that you have to. It doesn't matter what conventional wisdom says.

I've read many articles and books about real people who didn't listen to what anyone said about what they were doing because they were convinced themselves that their chosen profession or career or art was what they were supposed to be doing. They couldn't do anything else, they just kept pursuing their goals until someone finally noticed.

What's inside of you? What are you holding back? I'm asking myself these questions. What haven't I done because "someone" said I was too old, too fat, too girl, too mom, too...whatever.

More on this later...I'm thinking.

Sunday, September 25, 2005


Hear the clock ticking? I DO! Here's the way it goes. I'm 50, I'm overweight, I have a great husband, two great boys and I have rheumatoid arthritis.

To help you sort out what that means exactly--uh, um, well...what I'm trying to say is, I'm running out of time. I'm running out of excuses. It's time. It's time to actually DO something. I mean REALLY do something about getting healthy. Not thin...not a diet...a life change for the rest of my life. A way to live fit and healthy.

The guy I live with says I have one more week. That next Sunday, the day after he runs the St. George Marathon we would start--together. He's awesome, I know, but I decided today I'm out of time.

Last year when my doctor told me I had to lose weight especially now that I have RA I told him I wasn't ready. I wasn't. Yeah, it sounds lame, but I'm one of those people who have to convince themselves they can do the task before actually giving it a go. So, it's been a year. My Mom would be kicking my butt big time. My sisters already do. Time. Is. Up.

So I'll devote my Sunday blogs to bitching and complaining about how I'm doing. I figure it will at least cut down on how much I bitch about it in my real life. Those of you who are near and dear to me beware. I didn't say it would ELIMINATE the bitching, just pare it down...some.

Oh, and one more thing. It is helping me, so I'm going to be writing my graditude attitude thought for the week on Sundays too...maybe...if I remember. Oh hell, I'll just throw them in whenever I feel like it like I already do. : )

Graditude attitude thought for the week: I'm thankful I live in a time where we have the science to warn 3 million people to flee a catastrophic hurricane.

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Thursday, September 22, 2005


Remember the good old days of high school when you had a big game coming up and the school would have a bonfire night during the week to stir the school spirit to a fever pitch for the big game?

Well this week is homecoming at my son's high school. So cute E-mo kid decides he will reluctantly conform and go to bonfire. Why?

Not to cheer on the school. Hell no!!! The natural enemy of an E-mo kid is the Doo-Bro. (Jocks who buy clothes at Pac Sun stores). Doo-bros play football. Cute E-mo kid does NOTcheer on the football team.

No he goes to the bonfire first, to hang out with his friends, in particular Alena, the girlfriend that I'm not supposed to know he has. Secondly, it IS night time and there IS a BIG fire at school. Which is code for--there is always the chance the winds will come up and blow a spark in the direction of the campus and...yipee, skippy doo-dah day...the school could burn to the ground.

Don't try to follow the logic. I get sucked in every day and usually end up with a headache.

So, since cute E-mo boy doesn't have a drivers' license yet me and the guy I live with decide to drive him out to the school, which is some distance from our house, and go hang out at my Dad's house, which is nearby. Dad is out of town. We figure, we will hang out at Dad's and start a little bonfire of our own. If you know what I mean.

Well, concientious neighbor Connie comes over before we even have lip lock and proceeds to fill me in on the neighborhood goings on. She includes my brother's visit the previous weekend for his high school reunion when he used Dad's house. No duh, Connie, I was there!

In the mean time, the guy I live with is inside opening windows and doors to air the place out and instead of coming outside to rescue me lays down on Papa Bear's bed and takes a little nap.

After the 4th or 5th good bye and ringing ears, Connie talks at about volume level 14 on a scale of 1 to 10, I finally extricate myself from the friendly neighbor and go seek out that guy I live with. Yeah, he is prone---extremeties stretched to the four corners of the bed and snoring.

So I kicked his foot. Yes, I can kick that high! I kicked his foot and told him we had to leave to go pick up the kid at the bonfire. Who's parting words to us were...

"Don't be late. I don't want to be standing like a lonely loser in the parking lot!"

Poor kid, we've left him stranded soooooo many times. Puh-leeze! In my family we were always the last ones picked up. I never let my kids wait although cute E-mo boy tempts me frequently.

So no bonfire for me, however, cute E-mo kid came home with glitter all over his hoodie from the girlfriend that I don't know anything about. Something tells me, he got bonfire.

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Impressions - Part Deux

Blonde Woman with Bare Breasts
Edouard Manet

Gabrielle with Bare Breasts
Pierre August Renoir

Two more impressionists paintings for your viewing. Any thoughts?

Do you note the trend of bare breasts? My first
post about impressionists had a painting of bare breasted women with a plate of mangoes. I think I will challenge myself to periodically see if I can find tasteful and beautiful artwork of bare breasted women.

Why? You might ask. Well, I have been inspired by one of the dearest and funniest guys I know.

Craig, this is for you because you like my blog when there are "boobs" in it and because you make me laugh and that is very dear and precious.

Rather beautiful aren't they?

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Tuesday, September 20, 2005

So, my son wears girl pants...

Yeah, he is 15 years old and wears chick jeans. He is size "0". He spends more time shopping and trying them on than I EVER have for ANY pair of pants in my life. I know because for some reason he likes me to go with him when he buys his clothes. Most of the time I count myself as damn lucky my sons want to go anywhere with me. So when he asks me to go with him shopping...I go.

In the beauty shop today there was a conversation about the trend of guys wearing girl pants. Since my son had just left after getting his hair cut I mentioned he wore girl pants. Almost immediately and in a whisper, one woman asked if he liked girls. Huh?

Before I could recover from that one...dun-dun-dun-dah...does he like boys? Ex-cuuuuuse me?

I didn't know there was a correlation between wearing girl pants and sexual orientation. It is an understatement to say her comment was rude. However, I gave her a shock by saying that it wouldn't bother me if my son were gay. You should have seen the look on her face!

Of course I went on to say, being gay wouldn't make me love him any less. It wouldn't compel me to try and "save" him either. It would worry me though. Choosing to be and live openly gay is very difficult in our country, but all in all, it wouldn't bother me.

After much blustering this lady said she didn't believe me. WTF?!!! She is certain, that ANY mother would care if her son were gay. Holy Crap! Now I'm a bad mother too? Since she already thinks he is gay by wearing girl pants I didn't get her point. My mature reaction to her was an outburst of laughter.

Really, it was like being caught in an episode of the Twilight Zone. I actually couldn't believe there was someone so ignorant sitting in the chair next to me.

My son Shmoo (he hates it when I call him that, but what the hell...it's my blog!) is what is known as an "E-mo Kid". Yeah, he likes all that angst ridden, screaming, girl friend left me, died, ran way, the relationship is over music. Although I can hardly count myself as a fan, I do listen to most of his music. *see me shudder...twice* It's pretty depressing stuff.

OTOH, three years ago he was playing Shania Twain night and day. After that it was the Backstreet Boys. He even had a brief Britney Spears period...complete with skanky Britney poster on his closet door.

While his heart currently belongs to E-mo, he also listens to BB King, Eric Clapton, Ray Charles, John Mayer and James Taylor. He even knows who Emmylou Harris is. He has endured my CDs of the soundtracks of Hope Floats and Chicago. He has grown up in an extended family infatuated with Frank Sinatra.

Sure, he'd love it if he could look like Sonny Moore in the group
FROM FIRST TO LAST . Sonny is the beauty with the long black hair. Yikes!

But for right now, my son's hair is its' natural brown, his ears are pierced, but he doesn't wear any makeup or have any tatoos.

He'd like to die his hair black...we said, ummm...No!

He'd like to tatoo one arm...yes the whole arm. To say or show what, who knows. We said..uh-uh, no way!

He wants to pierce his bottom lip, one OR maybe both sides. Yeah...No!

He makes decent grades, and is a fairly obedient kid. Below is a picture of him with his older brother from last October which I've posted before. His hair is a little shorter, but basically, he looks the same. He sure is scary isn't he? Braces and all! Check out the girl pants!

Hey, maybe he's gay, maybe he isn't...

*sigh* *huff* *eye roll* "Yes, Mom, I know you don't care if I'm gay, but I'm not, OK? Geez...do you WANT me to be gay?!!!"

So, my son wears girl pants...

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Monday, September 19, 2005


Over the weekend I read a book with a new twist about vampires. Yeah, I know there are lots of vampire theories, stories, lore out there...so do we really need another one?

Well, no not really, but I really am intrigued by the whole vampire genre, so I HAD to buy the book and check it out.

I'm so glad I did. It provided a deliciously detailed new vampire world, hierarchy and language. Vampires are just another sort of nationality (species) we share the good planet earth with. In this version, we humans have nothing to fear...from the vamps.

I enjoyed the book on a couple of levels. There was the element of intrigue with this different take on all things vamp, the intensity of the Black Dagger Brotherhood and its members. For some this all male coterie might be a little over the top in the testosterone department, but I enjoyed the introduction to the characters immensely and was already trying to puzzle out their individual back stories.

Hopefully my reference to the author providing detail of language etc. doesn't put you off because the book is still very character driven and moves at a reasonable pace.

It has elements of suspense and of course, romance. If I have any criticism it might be that the protagnist king vamp WRATH mellows a little too much to be believable, but it is a small thing in comparison to the introduction to the other members of the Black Dagger Brotherhood whose stories must be told. The next book is due out in March 2006.

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Sunday, September 18, 2005

Aren't they beautiful!

Aren't they a truly handsome couple? This is my youngest sister and her husband at the Air Force ball. My BIL planned the whole shindig and it was a huge success.

Of course, that was true before the ball...he was smart enough to marry my sister!!


Friday, September 16, 2005

It's the little things...

My brother and his family are coming to visit this weekend. Well not visit exactly. He is coming home for his 20th high school class reunion. We get the benefit of his charming wife and delightful new daughter in the package.

Here they are.

I have three wonderful, awesome, smart, funny sisters...this brother is the honorary 5th sister. Which is convenient because he is also the youngest boy and was the 5th brother too. So there were 9 sibs and he goes both ways. : )

Every once in a while some simple pleasure in my life reminds me that is these little moments of joy that make life worth living. Today it is a visit from my brother and his family.

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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

I can be FIRED?!!

Apparently free speech doesn't apply to your blog if you have a few choice words to share about your employer or any of the people you work with. In fact, in an article by USA Today, employers are now drafting policy with regard to employee blogging like they have had to do in recent years with email.

You're kidding right? I can't complain about people I work with on my personal blog, on my personal computer, on my personal time? Puh-leeze! As the article states, how is that different from going into a bar (public forum) and bitching to all and sundry after throwing back a few drinks? As far as I know you can't get fired for bitching about work and co-workers in a bar on Friday night. However, if you rant about them on the world wide web, well that's a different story.

Companies and employees have already gone to court and appealed rulings about firing people for blogging. I can't believe we now have legal precedent to uphold the firings. Somehow, it just doesn't seem right to me.

The part of this flap that I DO understand are the instances where individuals are giving out trade secret info or release info on new products that would directly impact your company's business. Now, that I get. There you are messing with a company's opportunity to perform and conduct business. A blog is a public forum and you are exposing your company to loss of revenue, etc. by exposing or revealing a plan or product without their permission.

But, if I want to bitch because Lois Lucious is giving blow jobs in the executive mens room to get promotions...I figure, I can complain. After all, Lois can bitch about me on her own damn blog! If I want to lament the luck of Orville Ortho Shoes winning the raffle at the company picnic and getting a trip to Maui, well I figure I'm entitled. After all, Orville won the a t-shirt and coffee mug with our new company logo just last week.

Of course, the obvious solution? Don't tell anyone at work you blog. Blog under an assumed name and CHANGE THE NAMES FOR CRIPES SAKES! Sheesh...it don't take a genius.

Now about my boss...

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Monday, September 12, 2005

Monday, Monday

I had another one of those "bite me" Mondays. I loathe Mondays...I begin the angst and anguish on Sunday evening when I go to bed. There is no escaping it. If you didn't have Mondays the agony would just be moved to Tuesday, or Wednesday or Thursday.

Each week I think that the next Monday certainly cannot be as sucky as the last Monday was. Then Monday morning comes and I trot off to work ever hopeful that this Monday will be different. This Monday will be less busy. This Monday I won't come home grouchy and ready to rumble with anyone who gives me the least bit of resistance (meaning my two wild, wacky and wonderful children who torment me for something to do and entertainment). On Mondays the family shenanigans are at personal peril to life and limb.

I've decided the only rational solution to Mondays is alcohol. I plan to come home on Mondays and have a drink, or two or three to relax and forget about my day. Hopefully then the only thing at peril is my liver and I'll eliminate the threat of ending up wearing day-glo orange coveralls serving 8 to life.

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Sunday, September 11, 2005

100 Random Things About Me

I've blatantly stolen this idea from my baby sister. I'm going to see if there is even close to 100 things...random or otherwise I can say about myself.

1. My husband and I share the same birthday: December 17th

2. In November I will be married for 25 years.

3. Being married for 25 years is the longest I've done ANY single thing in my life.

4. I became a mother at 32. When I became a mother at 32 I thought it was the perfect age to start parenting.

5. When I was young I believed I would be alone and never marry. My dream was to have a successful marriage, a warm and open home, a house where my kids could bring their friends to hang out, and a place my extended family would gather. Sometimes I have to pinch myself.

6. My two children are adopted, two boys.

7. Meeting my husband was the best thing that ever happened to me and I was too dumb to know it 25 years ago.

8. I believe good manners are important and try to instill them in my two boys. I refuse to give up!

9. I've never been unfaithful.

10. I was 49 when my Mom died and for some stupid reason I thought my age would have something to do with it being easier to bear her loss. I was wrong. I will grieve and miss her until the day I die.

11. I am the oldest of nine children.

12. I'm bossy.

13. My heart breaks easily and mends slowly.

14. I value solitude and it is a gift I work on giving myself.

15. I'm 60 lbs overweight which sounds better than saying I weigh 200 lbs. and is easier to write than to say I'M FAT.

16. The least I've ever weighed in my adult life is 133.

17. I've only ever been on 3 diets and they were all successful. After I reach my goal weight I always gain weight back...not necessarily more...I just gain it back. I don't really believe I can keep weight off.

18. Going to the movies is one of my favorite things to do.

19. I love watching "INSIDE ACTORS STUDIO" even though James Lipton bugs me.

20. I have rheumatoid arthritis and it makes me angry.

21. I have lumps and bumps on my hands and feet from RA.

22. My sisters are my best friends.

23. I don't love all my siblings the same.

24. I don't love my children the same. My love for each of them is very unique and individual, but it is whole and completely 100% theirs.

25. I love to be outside, but I hardly ever am.

26. I love the way my husband smells...just him and soap!

27. I've always secretly wanted to write a book.

28. I read 3 to 5 books a week...mostly romance.

29. I started reading erotic romance 2 years ago and it changed my life.

30. Obsession is a way of life for me.

31. VANITY FAIR is my favorite magazine.

32. I envy my sister Joy her daughters. She is the only one of us sisters with daughters...the other three of us have boys.

33. I really like to swim but only in chlorinated water.

34. I believe I'm pretty intuitive and trust my instincts especially about people.

35. I was born in Butte, Montana.

36. To me the worst thing that could happen in life would be to lose your anonymity. Loss of privacy would fracture me.

37. My sex life is x-rated and monogamous.

38. I'm a shameless hussy when it comes to bed linens and bath towels.

39. There are 4 meds I have to take twice a day every day and they aren't vitamins.

40. My brain functions (to me) like a huge filing system. I see everything in organizational charts.

41. Lists are my friend.

42. My favorite author of all time is Linda Howard.

43. My favorite book of all time is MILA 18 by Leon Uris. I read it when I was in high school and it was my first real understanding of the Holocaust.

44. The most important goal of my life is to be sure the people I love know that they are loved.

45. Most of the time I thank God our children don't have either my or my husband's genetics.

46. I've had a hysterectomy and a breast reduction. Neither one was particularly traumatic or affected my love life or relationship with my husband.

47. I used to have 44 DD breasts. A guy in a bar once asked me if he could take me home and f*** my breasts. I threw my drink on him.

48. I love the way the bookstore smells and I'd rather be in a bookstore than just about any other place in the world. I like to read in the store.

49. My favorite alcoholic beverage is Tanqueray and tonic with 2 wedges of lime. Lime is VERY important.

50. Night time is my friend. Sunrise is the enemy.

51. Coffee is one of my favorite things in life.

52. I think watching your body age sucks. Getting older is an incredible journey, too bad you can't choose the mode of transportation for the trip.

53. It is hard for me to fall asleep and I rarely remember a dream.

54. I took anti-depressants when I was 40.

55. Therapy, next to my breast reduction, was the best thing I ever did for myself. I loved therapy because I could talk about myself and what I was thinking and feeling without guilt or censorship.

56. I get my nails done and have a pedicure every two weeks.

57. I can keep secrets.

58. I have secrets.

59. I lived in Colorado Springs for two years. I moved to Colorado Springs when I was 22 years old with $200 to my name and knew no one.

60. When I arrived in Colorado Springs I lived in a boarding house that was also an American Youth Hostel.

61. I hardly ever floss. I know I'm supposed to and I get lectured every 6 months when I go to get my teeth cleaned, but I just don't like flossing!

62. I've only had three lovers.

63. My first love was gay and I knew it before he told me.

64. My first love was not my first lover.

65. My first lover was a lousy kisser.

66. I didn't really kiss someone good and proper until I was 20 years old.

67. I made out for 4 hours once and had beard burn for 2 days.

68. My first serious crush turned out in life exactly the way I thought he would. I never told him how I felt about him. I knew I'd be rejected. 35 years later I have no regrets because I know I was right.

69. I never said "I love you" until I met my husband. I was 25.

70. I got married 9 mos after I met my husband. My husband and I did not live in the same city for 7 of those 9 months. He was in Cleveland, Ohio and I was in Colorado Springs.

71. I believe in God because of the divinity of my meeting and marrying Greg.

72. I can't leave my bed unmade.

73. I color my hair every 4 weeks my natural hair color. I began getting grey hair when I was 18.

74. I had laser treatments to remove a beard. It took twice as many treatments as the doctor originally anticipated.

75. I cried when I got my first grey pubic hair.

76. I didn't pass my written driving test the first time I took it. I missed 7 and you could only miss 5. I made my Mother swear not to ever tell anyone.

77. I like to nickname people. My favorite nicknames: Shmoo, Beanie Boy, Goobie, Mary Angelee-nah, Steadman, EQ

78. I have a nickname: Rosemont. It is based on a character in a long joke. Her full name is Rosemont P. Goodbody.

79. My only ambition is for my real life, which is my life with my family. I have no other aspirations or ambitions.

80. When I was 13 at a girlfriend's house for a sleepover she asked if she could kiss me. I said "no". I never spoke to her after that because it scared me. Now it makes me sad to think about because I can't even remember her name.

81. I drove drunk and don't remember how I got home. I was 24 and I've never done it since.

82. I'm impatient but constantly strive to be MORE patient and kind.

83. I believe in love, but I think there are some things even love can't conquer.

84. There are quotes I live by:

"When you know better, you do better". I heard Oprah say it and it is attributed to Maya Angelou

"You reap what you sow" the Bible

"Yard by yard...life is hard. Inch by inch...life's a cinch."

85. I drive too fast.

86. I hate horror movies and hate to be scared, but am fascinated with the notion of vampires and werewolves.

87. I love chest hair...on men.

88. My favorite place in the world is cuddled up on my husband's shoulder. It is the only place I feel truly safe.

89. I've been sleeping on a waterbed for 19 years.

90. I have integrity and it is a trait I most admire and honor in others. Along with being disciplined and focused.

91. I am not a procrastinator, but I stayed up 72 hours before my oldest son's high school graduation in order to finish his scrapbook before the event.

92. I plant flowers and tomatoes every year in March.

93. I love when all my family is gathered at my house.

94. Christmas is my favorite holiday.

95. I don't like Halloween. Which goes back to #86...I don't like to be scared.

96. Fall is my favorite season.

97. I believe that the four seasons are a reminder to us of the cycle of life.

98. I have a burial plot with my husband. It is near my mother and my brother. It comforts me to know it is there.

99. The older I get the more I mourn the loss of my youthful exuberance and enthusiasm. I don't know where or when I lost it, but I do believe I have an inner compass that desperately tries to send me in the right direction.

100. I love hard and I believe life is hard, but I also believe that to balance it all out we are given moments of truly incredible serendipity.

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Friday, September 09, 2005


If I've ever been happier to see a Friday than this one...I don't know when it was. Of course, it was rent week at work, my first full week back after I almost quit and the dramatic and distressing news about events in the south. It has been exhausting. I don't believe I've wept as much since 9/11.

While, I've tried not to obsess over Katrina events, it is so huge it seems to have taken up residence as a niggling worry in the back of my mind. However, the last two days I've made a concerted effort not to get sucked into surfing the web reading news. I've been trying to get some perspective and resume my normal life...whatever that is.

So while trying to think about other things I decided to I'd do a the week in review and think about things that are great in my life. Like Oprah did a few years ago with the Gratitude Attitude diaries. My list became THIS WEEK WASN'T THAT BAD BECAUSE...

1. I was caught up on laundry for almost an entire 24 hour period!

2. By the end of the week I was current on all deposits and postings at work.

3. I didn't have to get up at 5 a.m. to drive my son to school even one day.

4. I wasn't late picking my son up from school not even one day because I didn't have to pick him up this week either!

5. I worked just as hard as I always do but was making alot more money doing it this week.

6. My new car rocks! I love driving it.

7. I have a new car.

8. No arguments or groundings with either of the male child units.

9. My wonderful husband who didn't say "I told you so" once during the hell we call rent week.

10. My sister signed her first teaching contract and is over the moon about it.

11 . My brother Chris turned 38 this week.

12. My nieces Jessyka and Elizabeth got parts in the play they tried out for.

13. My Dad's former security company (MONITRONICS THE BIG FAT F***ING LOSERS) quit calling me in the middle of the night for alarms in a house my father no longer owns.

14. All those nearest and dearest are safe sound and loved.

Not bad, huh? Everything is about perspective. How we view things like the old adage...when you get lemons you make lemonade. So while my heart and my spirit are in sorrow for all that has been lost in the South. I'm going to keep my eyes and energy focused on hope.

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hope --n. the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out well.

The people know the salt of the sea
and the strength of the winds
lashing the corners of the earth.
The people take the earth
as a tomb of rest and a cradle of hope.
Who else speaks for the Family of Man?
--Carl Sandburg

Hope deferred maketh the heart sick.

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Thursday, September 08, 2005

Jennifer Crusie - Shameless Blog Plug!

I have her link on my page at the right. If you haven't read her blogs you are really missing out. Go take a look!

With all the sorrow this past week, I really have enjoyed the humorous respite these blogs and the one I linked below, have given me.

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Want to improve your BLOGCABULARY? Go read this post BLOGSTERBATION! It's too funny!


Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Good Bye Little Buddy

Thanks for the laughs and hours of joy you brought.

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Monday, September 05, 2005


I've just finished reading the latest news about Katrina on a number of news publications on line. As usual I'm crying. The time line was of particular interest to me to see where and when warnings were given and who knew what when. Sadly, with the infrastructure and disaster plan that was in place I don't know what more could have been done to warn people. God help us all!!! The decisions to cut our FEMA teams from 3 to 2...FEMA cuts to shore up terrorist defense spending in Homeland Defense. Surely there is some sort of guideline or measurement of what it takes to adequately be prepared for such a disaster here in the United States?

I can only pray that we know better now and will do better in the future. I plan to have my say with my vote and influence as many people as I can.

It occurs to me that if I am this devastated...if other readers and watchers out there whose blogs I've read and whose pictures I've viewed are this devastated...can you even imagine how the people who LIVED through it feel? I cannot. It is simply more than my five senses can absorb or my heart can process.

As with 9/11 I sit here in sunny Southern California almost paralyzed with not knowing beyond a donation what to do. Outwardly my little world is so minimally changed. Beyond the aggravation of spending more for a gallon of gasoline, my life looks the same. But I don't feel the same inside.

So I give what I can, pray often, and my thoughts are never far from other mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, friends...women just like me who are separated from loved ones, without a job, a car or a home. So, I light another candle and say another prayer.






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Friday, September 02, 2005


Two Women with Mangoes
by Paul Gauguin

It all started with a google search for pictures of women. One of the first links was to a site of paintings of women. When I saw this one it immediately reminded me of a great teacher I had in junior high school.

I was a military brat, 13 years old, living in Japan and I was attending a DOD (Dept of Defense) school.

Miss Halford would bring in a different print of a painting each week. The prints were mostly of impressionists. The print would hang in the classroom for a week and then on Fridays we were asked to journal about it. There were no limits on what our remarks could be or the length. Who knew at the time it would have an impact on me so many years later?

When I finally got to Paris a few years ago and went to the Musee D'Orsay and saw some of the actual paintings I'd first seen as prints in Miss Halford's class, I cried. Yeah, real tears! It was such an incredible feeling to feel linked to these paintings.

I stood in front of a couple of Van Gogh paintings for 10 minutes looking for those first impressions and thoughts I'd had so many years before.

Gauguin was one of the artists that shared our classroom. As soon as I saw this picture the memories came rushing back. So, here's to you Miss Halford...where ever you are!

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