A big family, a reading addiction, and the occasional celebrity scandal are the ingredients of life that create one woman's opinion on just about everything.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

He's moved... again!

Two years ago while I was at RWA, Beanie moved out of the house to be closer to the 4-year college he was transferring to. It wasn't a surprise. I knew he was moving and it was definitely planned. In my absence his Dad and his brother helped him move. It went well, we talked on the phone and I remember thinking that it had been pretty painless.

What I hadn't been prepared for was how I would feel when I got back home and he was just... gone. There's something to be said for going through the actual moving out process. I didn't, so it was sort of shocking and unsettling when I got back home and he wasn't there.

Fortunately he doesn't live very far away and we see him fairly often. But it's different. Even when he comes to visit it's not the same as when he lived at home. When he comes home now he's just passing through.
He's a pretty happy guy most of the time. Resilient in fact. Seeing that, knowing that, I was able to put my own scary feelings of loss behind me.

It was no different than when he first walked (ran) and crashed into things when he was ten months old. Or, when he finally got finished with driver's training and drove. Alone. At night. To go hang out at a friend's house. New phases and stages of his life. A time to let go, as all parents do as their children grow up, watching him, proudly, move on with his life.

Now we have a new milestone. He and his girlfriend of four years have moved in together. I find myself exchanging anecdotes about his habits, his likes and dislikes with her. It's new this feeling of putting my son's well-being into another woman's hands, but it feels right. More importantly, he's still happy. Still resilient.

Aside from this move, he's got some pretty big things happening in his life over the next year. I'm a Mom. I worry, but I'm also smiling and genuinely happy, but still a little misty too. They grow up so fast...



Blogger azteclady said...

They grow up faster than we parents are ever ready for--and we never stop worrying.

He is happy already and you have given him the foundation for that--hat off to you, Rosie *hug*

7:27 AM PDT  
Blogger Lori said...

Ah, the bog move. You've been expecting this one, I know.

And I know what you mean about them growing up so fast.

1:52 PM PDT  
Blogger Rosie said...

AL, I'm ready for him to be grown up... Mostly. :)

Lori, it's not like the growing up and moving etc. are a big surprise. Also, there is an element of being so ready to see them go. It's a very schizophrenic feeling. Realizing they are grown up with another woman in their life who will always (rightfully so!) be more important than you makes a person (we are talking about me here) feel a bit blue.

Other than that, it's all good.

2:49 PM PDT  
Blogger nath said...

Woohoo! Pretty big move indeed :D Still, must be good news if you like the girl :)

5:56 PM PDT  
Blogger Rosie said...

Nathie, like most parents, I, of course, want him to be able to make a good living and be able to support himself, but nothing replaces seeing him happy. He's happy and that's everything.

6:19 AM PDT  
Blogger Tracy said...

I'll probably have a heart attack when either of my children move out on their own. Thankfully that won't be for a darned long time! lol

10:07 AM PDT  
Blogger Rosie said...

Tracy, like my Mom said it's easier when they get older, for one thing they aren't as cute... :P For another they have usually argued and driven you so crazy throughout their teens that by the time they move out it isn't so bad. Mostly. But then, that's how it goes with boys, it might be waaaaaay different with girls.

9:28 PM PDT  

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