KICK 'EM WHILE THEY'RE DOWN...

Imagine if you will my surprise and disgust when I went to PBW's site to see if she had posted an update on the events surrounding her son's arrest to read she will probably have to shut it down.

When something bad happens in our lives, being able to maintain some island of normalcy or finding some sanctuary of peace is so helpful to surviving whatever one might be going through. So to think her site(s) have to be shut down because she is receivng threats at a time when she and her family are so vulnerable is sad, and frankly a disappointing indictment of how people respond in a crisis.

I don't know why I was so shocked. It's not like I don't know the world we live in. But I do have to admit that I was stunned when I read about the threats, more so when she noted that she had gotten personal attacks (in posts) from colleagues within the industry in which she works! That is particularly slimey.

All those who have read about her son (she has newspaper links in her original post) and this horrible drama know that the victims' families must be suffering terribly. Since when does that preclude us from having compassion for the family of the accused? I took a pass on the Shark Bait 101. How do people sleep at night?

In many of the comments to PBW's original post people were offering their sympathy and assuring her that she shouldn't feel guilty about her son. Which, as a mother, most people know is almost impossible to do. A parent will always wonder if there was something else they could have or should have done to get a different outcome.

Having said that, reasonable people know that you can't hold a parent, or sibling, or grandparents, or aunts or uncles, or friends, or teachers, or pastors, accountable for the actions of another adult. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own actions.

Don't think I don't have compassion for someone's difficulties as a child. I know there are many situations people are innocently born into that leave them with almost impossible odds to overcome and succeed. At the same time, I strongly believe we have to teach our children from a very young age that they are accountable for their actions. Personal responsibility. You can' t blame Mommy and Daddy all your life if your life sucks when you are 25...or 35 or 50.

So, while PBW's loss is not the same, or as final as the loss of the victims' families. Her family is entitled to feel grief, loss, pain, and devastation from these murders, and her son's involvement. She and her family should be able and allowed to feel all these things without being villified or judged for it. Most significantly, she should be able to keep her blog site open and try to continue with her life the best way she can.

As for me, I will be keeping all the people touched by this horror in my thoughts and prayers during the difficult days ahead.