Glory to God in the Highest!!
That was a trick title to hide the real reason for this post. Last night I had one of those moments that I thought I had prepared myself for but found myself speechless when it happened.
My 19 year old came home from an evening out with his friends and plopped himself on our bed for a midnight chat to catch up a bit. This is a frequent occurence as our schedules don't always permit conversation during the day.
In the course of our little convo guess what bit of news comes to light? He has started having sex with his girlfriend...his 16 (almost 17) year old girlfriend. Gulp! The news that he has become sexually active at 19 is not shocking, but it is a mental adjustment as well as an emotional one. No I wasn't shocked to find that my 19 year old male child had become sexually active, I was (am) more concerned about whether he and his young girlfriend are ready for this step. I'm worried whether I have taught him enough about being responsible, respectful and considerate of this young woman.
The "news" didn't end there. It turns out his girlfriend has told her mother about them being sexually active. While I'm glad she isn't treading into these waters without talking to her mother, I'm a bit apprehensive since she is under age and Number One Son is not. Did I mention her parents are recently divorced and it was not an amicable split? Am I crazy or does this have all the potential for diaster written all over it?
After a brief re-cap about birth control being the responsibility of BOTH parties and an even shorter reminder to speak to his Dad about using a condom properly, he cut the convo short and raced from our room. Yeah, I know Moms aren't supposed to delve too deep in these waters, but holy hannah, if he's old enough and supposedly mature enough to have sex with his girlfriend, then he should be old enough and mature enough to have a conversation about it.
You might wonder where the guy I live with was while I was getting all this big news. Right there with us...sleeping like a baby! I obligingly shared the update with him at 4:45 a.m. this morning while he was getting ready for work. While he did pale a bit he says he's going to have another conversation with Numero Uno about sex, respect, birth control ...you know all the high points. Isn't this what good parents are supposed to do?
What do you think? Did your parents ever talk to you about sex?
Posted by Rosie at 11:14 AM
1 Comments:
I could NEVER talk to my parents that directly about sex. Mind you, Mum was very good at giving us the talk. I think we started talking about sex (in bits and pieces) from when I was around 6 yrs old, maybe younger. But as for specifics...I think there was an unspoken rule between us that: a) I was not to have sex before marriage; b) if I were to do so, I should pretend I wasn't; and c) if I were to pretend, I should put my knowledge to good use and take the necessary precautions.
Anyway, I was trying to imagine what I'd do if my son and I had the same conversation (mind you, he's not even 2, yet, so thanks for putting the idea in my head as I now have about 17 years to fret about it *g*) and I got CHILLS just thinking about it. I asked my hubby if he ever considered telling his mum that he was sexually active (hypothetically, since we actually are married) and his response was an emphatic, unhesitating, "Yuck! NO!" *LOL*
But you know, there's a lot to be said for your child trusting you enough with something so very personal. It reflects a very special kind of relationship, I think.
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