A big family, a reading addiction, and the occasional celebrity scandal are the ingredients of life that create one woman's opinion on just about everything.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Jonathan ...

I'll miss you forever...

Jonathan Jude Sanders
January 28, 1959 - October 24, 2004

In 2004 we lost my mother in January and my brother in October. It was a rough year to say the least. My brother was only 45 years old and had lived his whole life coping with physical handicaps he had been born with.

Losing your parents is not easy, but something you expect in the natural order of things. Losing your sibling is different. For me it was like losing part of myself because I was in this unit of nine children and Jonny is right in the middle of the birth order...a precious part of us that defined our family unit. With his loss I felt more hollowed out than when my Mom died, more like I physical hole was left in my body that nothing or no one could ever replace, change or fill that was just Jonny.

I have a beautiful diffenbachia plant in my home that was sent to our family when Jonny died. It's huge now and we just recently transplanted it into a bigger pot. I talk to it and call it Jonny and seeing it makes me feel better. I know I don't have to get over losing these people I've loved, but I am finding ways to live with their loss and after two years I feel blessed and content with that.

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Blogger Kristie (J) said...

What a beautiful tribute to your brother ((((hugs))))

7:59 AM PDT  
Blogger Rosie said...

Thanks Kristie.

9:55 AM PDT  
Blogger The Book Girl, A.K.A. Jodi said...

Rosie, you have such a zen way of looking at things and I envy that about you. May Jonny live on in your heart forever and my Jonny the plant keep growing. :)

11:56 AM PDT  
Blogger Marg said...

Lovely post in tribute to your brother.

1:44 PM PDT  
Blogger Rosie said...

Thanks Jodi and Marg.

3:21 PM PDT  
Blogger Lori said...

(((Hugs))) I can't imagine losing both a parent and a sibling in the same year like that. What a lovely tribute, and what a strong lady you are.

3:50 PM PDT  
Blogger ames said...


Sorry about both your losses. But that is very touching about your brother's plant.

I think you're a very strong woman.

10:23 AM PDT  
Anonymous Steadman said...

I love you Rosie.....

10:54 AM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoa. We lost Mom in 1994. She was 47 and way too young. God, it seems like just yesterday.

I miss my Mom.

I cant even comprehend losing my baby brother too early. Tears me up just thinking about it.


2:07 PM PDT  
Blogger Holly said...

What a lovely tribute, Rosie. I just can't imagine losing either my mother or my brother.


11:15 PM PDT  
Blogger Rosie said...

Thanks Lori. They were both pretty special.

Ames, I love that plant, I really do. I left a note for my son when we went on vacation to water Jonny. His friends saw the note and thought it was hilarious I had named the plant after my brother. They all say hi to Jonny now.

Steadman! You posted!!! I love you too!

Oh, Zeek, 47 is much too young! I'm so sorry for you loss. I was 49 when my Mom died and for some strange reason thought I'd be able to deal with it better because she had a long illness and I was older with a home of my own. It's still our Mom and we will just always miss them.

11:21 PM PDT  
Blogger Rosie said...

Thanks Holly.

12:26 AM PDT  
Blogger CindyS said...

Rosie, I am so very sorry for your loss. Jonny will always be a part of your family and having other people get to know him keeps him alive.


Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts today!


2:37 AM PDT  
Anonymous Sarah McCarty said...

My condoleneces on the loss of your mother and your brother. Such a hard thing to face. Hugs!

5:00 AM PDT  
Blogger Rosie said...

Cindy, I'll be checking to see how you are doing! Thanks for the hugs.

Sarah, I always am thrilled to see you've stopped by. Thanks for your kind thoughts.

7:23 AM PDT  

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