I'm a believer...
Treat a man as he appears to be, and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I read this quote in a book or an article many years ago. It's been food for thought and conversation many, many times. Here's the thing, it works. Not always, not with everyone, but sometimes it works and it's pretty breathtaking when it does.
I mentioned earlier in the week that we got some tough news at work. Not the worst news, mind you, so far everyone is keeping their jobs, but there are cutbacks. If you can believe it, we are even cutting out our janitorial service.
So instead of finger pointing, arguing and trying to decide who deserves what portion of the budget pie, I'm working on taking the high road. I don't like acrimony and dissent. I especially don't want to be in that sort of environment day in and day out with the people I have to work with every day. Consequently, I'm going to believe in them and treat them as if they were what they potentially could be, good, kind and decent people.
My question is, would you consider this manipulation? If you treat someone they way they could potentially be, or you hope them to be, are you giving them a chance to be something better, or are you manipulating them into being someone you want them to be?
While you think about that... I leave you with this. I love these guys.
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I read this quote in a book or an article many years ago. It's been food for thought and conversation many, many times. Here's the thing, it works. Not always, not with everyone, but sometimes it works and it's pretty breathtaking when it does.
I mentioned earlier in the week that we got some tough news at work. Not the worst news, mind you, so far everyone is keeping their jobs, but there are cutbacks. If you can believe it, we are even cutting out our janitorial service.
So instead of finger pointing, arguing and trying to decide who deserves what portion of the budget pie, I'm working on taking the high road. I don't like acrimony and dissent. I especially don't want to be in that sort of environment day in and day out with the people I have to work with every day. Consequently, I'm going to believe in them and treat them as if they were what they potentially could be, good, kind and decent people.
My question is, would you consider this manipulation? If you treat someone they way they could potentially be, or you hope them to be, are you giving them a chance to be something better, or are you manipulating them into being someone you want them to be?
While you think about that... I leave you with this. I love these guys.
Posted by Rosie at 12:01 AM
10 Comments:
Nope, not manipulative at all. Just a call to adventure.
So glad everyone's keeping their jobs!
Self fulfilling prophesy. It's manipulation..in a way. But, it's not a bad thing. You're not ignoring the truth, you're excepting and dealing with a reality you can't change, so make a better day. You set the example, and others will follow.
Rosie colored glasses?
I don't think it's manipulative; however, whenever I do that... people say I'm too naive. I'm sure that there are some very good, kind and decent people with whom you work... but be careful that certain ones don't come and bite you.
Gabrielle, adventure it is alright. But life is so dull without them. Eh?
Lb, yesssss. Self fulfilling prophesy. I'm a believer of those to. What you put out in the cosmos is what comes back to you.
I'm looking for those 'rosie' glasses. I AM.
Nath, it may be naive but I'd rather live that way than be a cynic and expect the worse all the time. That just feels bad.
I don't think so. It's called putting on your big girl panties. There comes a point where you have to realize that no amount of bitching and moaning is going to solve anything. So you just need to suck it up and deal with it.
Like Nath said, some might consider this naive (or rolling over and playing dead) - but I call it realistic. Like you said, there's no sense bitching about it. It's the new reality. Roll up your sleeves and get it done.
Best of luck! Ugh, no janitorial service? That could get ugly.
It puts me in mind of the saying, "Expect the best, prepare for the worst."
I used to work with high-risk/on-probation kids, and I really believe people can rise to our expectations (not that they always do, of course.) But, if we don't give them the benefit of the doubt there's often little incentive for them to make the effort.
Put good stuff out there, the worst that can happen is that they don't rise to the occasion. At least you know, your karma is good.
I want me some Rosie colored glasses!
I forgot!
Thanks for the Monkeys! It totally made me smile. I had such a crush on Davey Jones when I was a kid.
How funny that you put that vid up. My girls have been singing the theme song to the Monkee's for the past couple of days! Don't ask.
Anyway...I don't think it's manipulative at all. You're seeing people in a good light - they're the ones who have to come through in the end. You can only control yourself.
Would this be the same as 'treat others as you would have them treat you'? Cause I think I run with that one.
I get burned every once in a while as you do find those people who would just suck you emotionally dry but usually I recognize those people and just back off a bit.
I'm also all about counting blessings so even though there are rough things going on (my brother has been unemployed for about 6 months now) I count the good things and make sure I'm grateful.
And finally, the 'can't live other people's lives' rule. I learned that one hard but it keeps me sane now. As I know my brother is having a rough time I also know that he has options. Whether he is able to realize that or not is up to him. I can talk till I'm blue in the face but if the other person isn't willing to make changes then I can't keep worrying.
(Not saying my brother deserves what is going on in the least - he's in automotive and that sector is taking a beating but he and his wife won't change their spending habits.)
CindyS
Wendy, I'm girding my loins and persevering, but dang it, being nice is a lot of work.
Renee, "Expect the best, prepare for the worst."
That's some sound advice. The tough part right now is not knowing if there's some additional 'worst' ahead.
Tracy, "Hey, hey we're the Monkees! People say we monkey around... but we're to busy singin' to put anybody down."
Heh. Love 'em Mickey Dolenz was my favorite.
Cindy, you know what I think it comes down to? Life is hard. It just is. Anyone who thinks differently is probably going to find themselves in a boatload of trouble.
P.S. You are a good sister. Does your bro know how lucky he is?
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