A Big Box of Blue

I'm a big box of blue today and probably will be for the next few days. I made it to the final interview for the job I wanted and got a letter Saturday saying I didn't get it. I don't know why. It's so frustrating to go through such a long and thorough process and then not get the prize. Frankly, it makes me feel old and it's finally dawned on me that it might not be so easy to get a job at 52.

It's been a long time since I actually pursued a job I wanted. Most of my professional life has been dictated by referral or promotion or necessity. I've also been the happy recipient of alot of good fortune job hunting and haven't had alot of rejection.

Yeah, poor me right? I have a great life, great kids, a great husband, but I wanted this for me. So, huh, what next? As Scarlett would say, "Tomorrow's another day!"

But for right now I'm BLUE.

***EDITED TO ADD - MONDAY MORNING***

I spoke with the office manager this morning as a post mortem sort of thing, to find out what, if any, pointers or criticism they might have for me. Also, she had mentioned a PT position in the letter they sent and I wanted to find out more about that.

Turns out it was actually between me and the woman they hired. While she gave me the reason for chosing the other candidate (more HR and payroll experience) it kind of made me scratch my head. This was an entry level admin position no where did the job description or posting mention payroll or HR experience. Anyway, I really want to work at this place, so I think I'm going to go to another interview (I'm a glutton for punishment) and try for the part time position. It's okay to call me crazy.

Interviewing, Testing and Guests...OH MY!

Been busy interviewing and testing. Sheesh! Since the last time I went through this process I can't believe all the testing employers require these days. So far so good. My testing has been good enough to move on, but what a pain!

So with the job search on and Beanie having mono and Shmoo having problems with his eye from the accident, well I've been dang busy the last week or so.

On Friday my sister that lives in Georgia will be in town. She is out here on business and is making a quick overnight visit before she has to return home in time for Mother's Day.

Speaking of which, isn't it a bad sign when your husband reminds you that Mother's Day is on Sunday and wonders aloud if you want to do anything special? Or, your 20 year old son asks you the Wednesday before Mother's Day if there's anything you want him to buy you. Guess they'd be surprised if I said a vacation away from them. Which I'm going on the end of May. A week away to visit aforementioned sister from Georgia.

See, it all comes full circle. However in the end it means I'm not out here snooping at all your blog sites and my reading has slowed to a crawl.

On deck right now I'm reading Jaci Burton's WILD, WICKED & WANTON. It's dessert. A very rich, decadent, dessert. I have to agree with Jane's review that this would be a great beach read provided you don't squirm yourself right out of your swim suit. Yeah, seriously, that hot.

I'm Busy Damn It!

No really, I have lots of stuff to do. Remember me mentioning how I have lists? Well, I started the week gangbusters but somewhere around Wednesday I lost steam. I'm not going to say this never happens to me because January 2007 was an all time "just doing the basics" period for me. Stuff happens.

This week I just have my average To Do list and I'm ignoring it and pretending I don't have to do those things. One of the items on the list is to finish an application for an administrative job with our local fire department. Yes, I'm looking for work again.

Lucky me my temp job was over in early December and I've been slowly looking for a "real" job again. Fortunately, I have the luxury of taking my time because except for the two months in the Fall working the temp job I've been unemployed since last June.

I've really enjoyed living life at a slower pace. I've never had a problem being home either. I was a stay-at-home Mom when my boys were very young. When I did return to work they were in junior high and high school. Even then, I went back part time at first so I was home when they were home.

Recently, I've been reading about so many of you having killer work weeks of 50 and 60 hours. Ugh! That takes me right back to where I was when I left my last job. I was putting in those kind of hours for six months and I was fried to a crisp by the time I left. Good job, good money, great boss, but too demanding for me to have a life outside of work. I kept hoping the hours would improve as time went on. I worked at that place for almost four years and if you can't figure out in that time what will and what won't change, then you are in real trouble.

Anyway, I'm feeling good right now. The rheumatoid arthritis seems to be in some sort of remission, my boys are older and needing me less. (Which as my mother used to say translates to "so I can worry more") So here I am. Looking for a good paying job, with good benefits and a benign work environment. No high stress and demanding stuff for me. Quiet, peace...that's what I'm looking for.

However, it's pretty interesting to see where my ambition is when I have been sitting on the application for the fire department for three days. The window for accepting applications closes next Tuesday at 5 p.m., so I have time. Right? I'm not really procrastinating yet am I? Doesn't it have to be something like Tuesday at noon with an incomplete application for it to be officially called procrastination?

Of course, I do have an interview for an admin job at our local junior college on April 30th. Maybe that's why I'm not hurrying up to apply for this other job. Nah...that's not it. Maybe the fact that the application is four freakin' pages and has to be done by hand. That might have something to do with it. (Who doesn't have their applications on line? Really!)

This morning I vowed to tackle the application first thing. No cleaning the kitchen first, blog hopping, leaving to do errands, reading, laundry...nope. Just do the application. So what have I done so far this morning? Made coffee, blog hopped, two loads of laundry, conversation with Beanie Boy about his job hunting and telephone conversation with GG.

This blog post wasn't on the list either. Guess I better finish it so I can continue NOT completing the application and go fix myself something to eat instead.