A big family, a reading addiction, and the occasional celebrity scandal are the ingredients of life that create one woman's opinion on just about everything.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Sit down....Sit down...Sit down...Sit down...Sit down you're rockin' the boat!

I love GUYS AND DOLLS. I was stage manager for a production and really enjoyed it, but I'm always nostalgic for the 1955 movie version with Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando. But GUYS AND DOLLS is GUYS AND DOLLS. Before I went searching for my YouTube clip I even found where Ewan MacGregor played Skye Masterson in the 2005 London revival. I'd have loved to see that one! But I digress...

As for the boat rocking, well I'm in a mood. Have you ever had a friend treat you very badly? So badly that you felt you had no choice but to end the friendship? How flabbergasted would you be to receive an email from that person more than a year later acting like nothing had happened?

I have no problem sticking up for myself in a confrontation, BUT I do have a problem being mean when the response is disproportionate to the offense. So ex-friend has offended me by sending the email and acting like nothing happened, but I don't have it in me to be mean. GG, one of the kindest and gentlest men I've ever met wants me to be mean, but I just can't. Ignoring the whole thing seems like a more appropriate response to me.

However, sometimes I want to rock the boat and really sizzle someone's garters. Sometimes I don't feel like being nice. Sometimes I want to rip off an email that says something really mean. Like well...mean. I thought of a couple examples to type in right there but when I read it back I got to thinking about the bad karma I might get by putting something like "drop dead" out there. Seriously, telling somebody that in an email and only that would be pretty mean...wouldn't it?

You know when I was a kid and went to catechism the nuns had me believing there was a sort of angel accountant with a big book that had my name on one of the ledger pages. All the bad stuff I've ever done was duly recorded right there day by day along side the good stuff. I'm guessing that sending someone a note with with the aforementiond "drop dead" would probably negate a whole lot of good stuff on the other side of the ledger. So, I decided I just can't risk that sort of thing. Aren't I special or what?

But if I was willing to risk my immortal soul I'd really say some mean, mean, stuff and then hit "SEND". Really I would, but I'd rather listen to the sound track to GUYS AND DOLLS and sing about rocking the boat rather than actually doing it.

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Blogger Lori said...

Oooh, I love Guys and Dolls!!! I miss when they used to show all the old musicals on weekend TV, too. Remember that? *sigh*

Anyway, I can relate. And more often than not, even though I SO want to be mean, I end up taking the high road, and it SO galls me.

4:19 AM PDT  
Blogger Rosie said...

Lori, I was just commenting to GG how great it used to be to have the old movies showing on weekends and late night. It's how I got most of my old movie education for crying out loud. Remember how they'd have an MGM musical month and all they'd show is musicals? Loved it.

7:03 AM PDT  
Blogger Dev said...

You're a better person for taking the high road. Being mean may feel good in the short term, but if you're anything like me, you'll instantly regret it.

I've never seen Guys and Dolls (and I love Frank Sinatra) ~ Hope it's on TMC soon, otherwise, I may have to see if Hastings has it.

7:39 AM PDT  
Blogger Daphne said...

Hi Rosie. First of all, I love Guys and Dolls.

Second, I totally understand your conflict, and I think it's great that you acknowledge it. We've all gone through those moments where you want to say something really nasty to someone that hurt you and then feel guilty and back out.

I think you should say something back, but it in a way that doesn't make you "stoop to her level" Good luck!

8:51 AM PDT  
Blogger Holly said...

You know, I'm really glad you brought this up, because more often than not, that's exactly how I feel.

We all know I'm not the passive type, but speaking my mind and actually being mean are two different things. But so many times I just want to pull my hair out and say something scathing.

I'm working on it, but gosh, wouldn't it just feel good to reply with bitchery?

I do think you're making the right decision by not, but shoot, I feel your pain. :)

And I miss when they used to do musicals, too. :( I wonder if we wrote a letter if they'd bring them back?

11:50 AM PDT  
Blogger Jenster said...

Guys and Dolls is one of my favorites EVER! And that's my favorite song. I'm always singing it. :o) I saw it years ago at the Long Beach Civic Light Opera (I don't think that's what it's called anymore) and I don't remember who was in it, but it was fabulous. Still, I loves me some Marlon and Frank in the movie.

With my luck I would have written a mean email and instead of deleting it I probably would have hit SEND by accident instead.

1:01 PM PDT  
Blogger Sam said...

I was raised to 'be nice', and I think it's taken away some of my better instincts, lol.
So I know what you mean by the fact thatthink it's just best to ignore the e-mail. I too believe that if you ignore something long enough, it might just go away.

1:37 AM PDT  
Blogger CindyS said...

Oh Rosie, I so get it. That wedding I went to for my former best friend for life - painful. I knew exactly what I would have said and it would have been perfect but then I imagined her beating me to a bloody pulp. Actually I thought about how it was her day and it wasn't about me.

Although honestly, there are days I just want to ask her WTF?

Ignoring the e-mail is probably best cause really who needs the conflict.

I'm not a musical person because there is always that slow song that bugs me. I've never seen Guys and Dolls but I recognized Nathan Lane there - I love him!


3:53 AM PDT  
Blogger Rosie said...

Dev, that 1955 version is a hoot. Jean Simmons plays the female lead. Frank Sinatra plays Nathan Detroit a part tailor made for him.

Daphne, aside from not wanting to be a "mean girl" the other reason I don't really want to reply is that this is a person that you have to be extremely explicit with. Hinting doesn't work. If I don't get it right she might take it as a reconciliation. I really don't want her back in my life.

Holly, isn't the bitchery part what our SOs are for? :) GG got an earful I can tell you.

Jenster, I have the latest soundtrack of Gs&Ds(with Nathan Lane)on CD and play it frequently. I know a lot of lyrics from working on the play too. So I drive around town and sing my lungs out.

Sam, in the long run I know ignoring the email is the right thing to do. It does make me think of heroines in books we get disgusted with who do the same thing though. You know when we as readers sometimes think they are too nice and show grow a spine? Situations like this are why I identify with them.

Cindy, sometimes taking the high road appears weak to people. It's really a case by case thing. Some issues can't be left unresolved while others (like this one) are better off left alone.

Daphne made a good point suggesting I say something back without stooping to her level. The problem is I did that more than a year ago when we initially parted ways. This email didn't have anything inflammatory in it. It's just ignoring the split and acting like everything is hunky dory and the split never happened.

Seems innocuous, but it set me off because she knows damn well what she did last year and why we aren't friends any more.

7:06 AM PDT  
Blogger Giselle said...

Ooohh Guys and Dolls Luv that Marlon Brando
Anyhoo, it would feel oh so good to tell that no good skankette off but in the end it ain't worth it, IMO. Once the high wears off you'll wish you hadn't stooped to her level. And LOL about the angel with the ledger. I was brought up Catholic and know exactly what you mean :)

2:41 PM PDT  
Blogger Jodi_Lee said...

Sooooo...there's not a big book where all of my bad deeds are written?? Geez!

I would confront...not in a mean way, but I would definitely have the need to understand why she suddenly would pop up again. Most selfish people can't seem to say they're sorry, but she may be, & may miss you, and that is why she suddenly appears. However, I (as the offended, not the offendee) would have to understand the motive. But, that's me - you do what feels right to you. :)

6:02 PM PDT  

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