Horror!

by illustrator EVGENY PARFENOV

So much for my proclamation that I'm feeling better. I haven't weighed myself in a over a week and today I found that I've gained FIVE POUNDS. A couple of years ago I lost 30 pounds. I've been so proud of keeping it off and thinking I'd add losing another 30 one of these old days. Okay 20. Well really I'd be happy with another 15. Wait!  It would be 20 because now I have to lose the FIVE POUNDS I've gained. Aaaarrrrgh!!! Lordy but I get tired of losing the same weight over and over again. You'd think I'd get a freaking clue... But noooooooooooo!  

I can't even tell you how shocked I was by this weight gain. Goes to show you how important an on-going and consistent exercise routine is, not to mention careful eating. I have not been miserable taking care of myself and was in quite a comfortable routine. With recent "stuff" going on I have apparently gone way off the reserveration, or maybe *grasping at straws and hope in voice* my thyroid meds need adjusting. No? Maybe? Get a grip on reality, Rosie?

*sigh*

Summer's over. Time to get into a new routine. Gotta get rid of some more poundage. Oh did I mention GG's very favorite TV show BIGGEST LOSER is back on? He recommends it for inspiration. Should I slap him or hug him?

Breathing, Lifetime, and Easter

My brain is foggy. It is chock full of a lot of incredible information about how to build a database. Maybe this is old hat to many of you, but after muddling my way through a crooked database built by someone else for over a year, I wanted to finally know what I was doing. An opportunity arose to take a 2-day class and I jumped on it. There are just so many possibilities with this new information. That's the silver lining. The side effects are the foggy head with too many bits of information to process.

Going into work tomorrow will actually feel like a vacation.

For me the best release (reward) is usually to either eat something I'm really going to regret... OR, I can get to work and actually put some of the education to use. Our friendly Mr. Goodbar won out yesterday. But not today. Today I came straight home and was all by myself. After a few quick chores I settled myself in front of the BATV and watched the Lifetime movie of Nora Roberts' HIGH NOON. You may remember how much I loved this book when I read it. Consequently I couldn't ignore the movie. I had to at least check it out.

Let me say that while Duncan wasn't as nearly as interesting and compelling as he is in the book, the actor who played the part, the delicious Ivan Sergei, did a credible job with the script he had to work with. Lost actress Emilie de Ravin was cast as hostage negotiator Phoebe McNamara. This was, imo, a much better cast and adaptation than the hapless ANGEL FALLS movie was last year. I couldn't even sit through that one. Ultimately, the HIGH NOON movie was okay, not long or meaty enough, but okay. If I was grading it I'd give it a 'C'.

That bring us to Easter.

I'm late getting an Easter package out to my niece and nevvy in NoCal. I dunno. It's Thursday. Think they'll get it on time? Ummm... No?

I've also been dragging my feet making any plans for Easter. Little things like what we are having for dinner. Although, I did pretty much decide that earlier today, I still have some grocery shopping to do. What about you guys? Are you all ready for the holiday? Anybody got special plans for the weekend?

Hello Lampost...

I'm so happy! I've been dragging three different books around all week. I had an appointment for a mani/pedi last night and this is what I cracked open. 100 pages in and all is going well.

What I'm not going to do? Be on the computer tonight. I'm going to read this weekend.

Yay!

One more thing...

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement yesterday. I really needed the pick me up, or the slap up the side of the head as it were. You all had great bits of advice that I sorely needed to hear read again and be reminded that it's a process and a lifelong commitment to living healthy.

So I'm feeling much better, in fact I'm feelin' grooooveeeey. Ba-da-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-da...feelin' grooooooveeeey...

After these messages...

...we will return to our regularly scheduled programming. Who knows I might be reading by then. One lives and hopes.

I want to lose 20 more pounds before going to RWA. I'm stuck. Not losing. Not gaining. I'm also not motivated. What I don't get, which is why I'm writing about it, is why my desire still exists if I can't get motivated. It seems so pointless, and, frankly, is frustrating me enormously.

Do you think about why you eat?

I've been wondering about this lately.

Honest to God, there are lengthy periods of time when eating healthy and "being good" are so second nature that I can't imagine I will ever go back to poor eating. That certainly was the case last year.

Since the very beginning of 2009 I've been obsessing about food, sweets in particular. I'm craving candy I haven't thought about in years. What. Is. Up. With. That?

While I have gained some of the weight I lost last year, a few exasperating pounds, I'm holding my own, barely.

What I'm wondering is whether any of you have anything you tell yourself when you find yourself thinking about food. For instance, one of the things I try to say to myself, that only works sometimes, is "Why is it so important you eat that right now? Can you wait? How about tomorrow? Do you want to eat that more than you want to lose x-number of pounds or fit into x-outfit?" Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Hence my new found relationship with Mr. Goodbar. *A-hem*

Do I sound the teeny tiniest bit desperate? Cuz I am. If you have any strategies or tips, please share. I'm floundering.

Life Goes On

Between the deadline for TBR Day and the assorted projects due at work yesterday I'm in a state of bliss. It feels great to get things done and behind you.

Today is another big day for me but for a completely different reason. We are doing our final weigh in for the Weight Loss Challenge at work. It's been 12 weeks and I've lost 19 pounds. This means that since last summer, when I started swimming, I've lost 31 pounds. I can hardly believe it. I'm pretty darn happy about that.

Let's take a moment and bask in that bit of great news and celebrate shall we?

I'm slightly disappointed I didn't reach my personal goal of 20 pounds with the Challenge at work, but fat gone is fat gone. Right? Of course this means I now need to go shopping for some clothes which is also a mixed blessing. I seriously have no clue what size I am. It's been more than 5 years since my weight has been this low. Not only am I older, so you know stuff has moved around, but I've been exercising, so you know stuff has moved around. It's a bit surreal.

I think I'll hold off with the clothes shopping for a few weeks to see if I lose any more weight before RWA. One can hope, or swim, or walk, or in other words sweat and pant.

So life goes on. There's scrapbooks and book reviews still waiting to be done. But for today, I think I'll bask a little.