About Porn

Karen Scott had a post about a particular blow job scene in a porn film. While I commented that I don't much like porn films, that wasn't entirely true. I pretty much loathe them. They don't turn me on and are pretty much torture for me to watch. So I don't.

While there are an abundance of critics who hate both porn films and erotic/romantica/romance literature as being denigrating and demeaning to women I have to separate the two. The films have it all laid out for you. With books you can create and build the scenes in your head. I never imagine scenes that I feel demean the female when I'm reading. In the books I enjoy, the women are consenting and usually in love with the guy(s) they are having sex with. That just isn't the case in porn. The point in the stories I read is to have a faithful relationship with people who are in love with the HEA ending.

What used to be classified as porn in the 70's was kind of funny, endearing and silly. I don't want to mislead anyone into thinking I'm a real officiando...cause I'm not. In fact I couldn't name a single porn actor or actress by name. I'm just saying that my exposure in the past to mainstream (is there such a thing?) porn films while not particularly sexy or turning me on...they didn't make me uncomfortable either. Now they do.

In recent years after a certain hour of the evening many of our cable stations have soft porn on which involves horrible dialogue and mostly bare breasts. It's awful and is like watching adults playing Barbie and Ken. Remember those days? You and your little friends playing Barbie and the stilted conversations where there was more time spent on the explanation of what the other little girl should say instead of just dialogue? Well that's what this stuff is like. The guy I live with who is pretty visual doesn't like them because he can't stand big hair, and over made up, plastic boobed women. It does nothing for him.

On the other hand while we were in Paris a couple of years ago, the porn was too explicit for me...he enjoyed it because there were no muscle bound and tanned guys and aforementioned plastic chicks. They were regular looking people (for the most part) with normal (toned) bodies and real boobs and dicks. Also, very little dialogue, which is good because it was in French, and lots of hetero one on one sex. So when we were in the room and weren't shagging ourselves (it was a second honeymoon after all) it was a coin toss between CNN and porn for TV. The news and porn, two musts for vacation! Poor GG, I'm always asking him with an appalled voice..."Does that turn you on?" He usually is smart enough not to answer...he knows a trap when he hears one.

The point, I'm trying to make is that while the visual does something for the guy I live with...not so much for me. I like creating the scene, emotion and visual in my head while reading. It is always a more tasteful and sexy romp than any I've seen in a porn flick. Of course, good writers help with this tremendously...Linda Howard, Sarah McCarty, Anne Stuart, Robin Schone, Lora Leigh...they have all written sex scenes that sometimes didn't even contain the actual physical act but created the tension and intensity of sexual attraction between H/H that left me breathless and consumed. Some scenes are very explicitly written, but because of the relationship the writer has created the sex seems right and appropriate to the characters. While I love sex and obviously enjoy reading about it I'm not much for throwing in a sex scene because the writer appears not to know how else to progress the story. Blech...that is not my idea of a good book.

So I guess the guy I live with will occassionally indulge in his interest in the visual by watching some porn and I will frequently indulge my interest by reading mine! ; )