This post comes from a moment I had in an interview this past Monday.
The woman I was interviewing for a management position made the following comment, "I know many women can, but I'm not one of them. Staying home with my children is NOT for me! My second son is now 4 1/2 months old and I need to get to work." What was implied in her comment and voice was that she was going bonkers being home with her two young children.
This wasn't the first time a woman has made this comment to me. Each time I hear it I'm a bit startled by it.
The woman in the interview was not an uneducated teen aged girl. She is in her mid-thrities, married with what appeared to be a settled and stable home life. Isn't it a reasonable conclusion to draw that if you have more than one child it was because you wanted to have kids? I mean, one child might be the result of an accident with birth control, etc. But if you have other children, might one conclude the parties wanted to have children?
That being the case making that particular comment always makes me cringe a little and wonder why the person had kids if they don't want to be with them.
Hey, I know we all need a break from parenting sometimes. I also firmly believe if working fulfills you then you SHOULD be working. I also think it's reasonable if you say you want to go back to work for economic reasons, passion for the work, or the medical insurance. But it just seems a little unsavory to say you can't stand to be with your kids and want to go to work to get away from them. At least that is the impression I'm left with.
Which leads me to my next thought about why people have children in the first place. Is the world still a place that once you marry you are expected to procreate? Honestly, you younger couples out there. Is there pressure to make babies? In the 21st century aren't we allowed to make other choices? I for one have always admired the person or couple who recognized that parenting wasn't for them and so they chose not to to have kids. Being a Mommy or Daddy is not for everyone.
In Rosie Fantasy World...which is here in my blog, I think every child deserves to be welcomed into the world with open arms and open hearts. It's a naive concept to be sure, but still a hope and philosophy I hold close to my heart.
There are so many situations and places in the world where there are virtually no choices for women. I think it is important for those women who have the luxury of choice and opportunity to chose wisely...to exercise the choice to NOT parent if it isn't for them. What do you think?
BTW, the comment did not affect the interview. She's a qualified candidate and is going on to the the second interview.