My Potty Mouth

I have a potty mouth. I'm not saying it is something I'm particularly proud of...but there you have it. As punishment for my lack of creativity and intelligence which I demonstrate by my use of many infamous four-lettered word-friends, I have two sons who swear and cuss at will.

Now, I don't really think those things about myself, but cussing tee-totalers think it of us cussers. Is cussers a word? Maybe I am a dim bulb!

Anyway, my reaction to my sons' swearing usually goes something like this.

"Shit! Er...umm...damn it! How many times do I have to tell you not to cuss. Watch the language!"

To which the two little beasts laugh. Which prompts me to yell at their backs down the hallway.

"You know you are both being real assholes!"

Pitiful isn't it?

The two assholes in question are 19 and 15 so they both get plenty of exposure to profanity aside from what they hear from me. Fortunately, their Dad rarely swears and they know better than to push the envelope too far. As for me, their Dad finds my cussing, unless I'm mad at him, amusing. He usually laughs when I cuss. Humpf! That's food for thought. Are people not taking me seriously when I swear? Do I want them to?

When I cuss I'm not standing in the middle of the local mall, or on my desk at work, but I frequently string a sentence together like the one above full of swear words. Oh and I say the "F" word...fuck...not fart. I don't like it when people say "fart" or use it in a sentence. I just don't like the word. Yet I have no problem with fuck. Explain that to me if you please.

Anyway, at least once a month I "swear" to myself to clean up the language. You know because I do think it's so lazy!!! Really except for rare occasions where a cuss word can make an impression or point in a conversation, it's a lazy way of getting your mood, reaction or impression across. Hell...that's what I like about it! So you see my problem. How can I honestly clean up, if I like my addiction?

I've indulged myself over the years like a drunk with booze or a nicotine addict with ciggys. It's my only real vice I say to myself. I don't cuss in front of small children, old people, the parish priest, my dad and at work. Well, not for the most part at work every once in a while a stress relieving "shit!" escapes, but not in front of clients...EVER.

So truth be told...I like to cuss. I must because I haven't stopped. So I was thinking. Do you have a friend, or know someone whose cussing is offensive? Funny? Clever? Does it make a difference whether or not it is a man or woman who swears? Are there some words you just NEVER want to hear outside the bedroom, or any where else?

As for me, I go through periods where hardly a blue word slips my tongue. Then a moment...happy, sad, angry, anything just grabs hold and hail, hail the sailor's on shore leave, and the four-lettered invictives fly right and left. Very liberating...very cathartic. But is it really necessary?

Hmmmmm.... Sometimes don't ya just gotta say...What the fuck! What the fuck? What...the fuck?!!