A big family, a reading addiction, and the occasional celebrity scandal are the ingredients of life that create one woman's opinion on just about everything.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

So my Dad met a woman in a bar...

Does that make her a "ho"? Inquiring minds want to know. I mean I haven't met her yet, but he's 74 and she's 54...he thinks. That's only a few years older than me for cripes sakes! That's kinda weird. Anyway, none of the progeny have met "Pearl" yet.

So if your Dad meets a woman in a bar and he's 74 and she's 54 does this mean your Dad is dating a harlot? Tart? Trollop? What do you think? The family consensus seems to be that her biggest flaw is that she likes Dad. Okay, I know that's a pretty shitty thing to say about one's Dad, but truthfully it's what I've been thinking and MAY have repeated to one or two or three of my sibs. My bad?

Of course Dad doesn't like me to mention how close Pearl is in age to me. I mentioned recently that we could have gone to high school together. He didn't like that much and went on to say something like, "Don't say that! Besides, she seems older because she's got LOTS more life experience than you do."

Huh? Say what? Life experience doing what exactly? The man actually thinks these little tidbits he shares with us will make us like Pearl better. *sigh* He's so clueless sometimes.

Mary wrote a bit about this. Go check it out, it's pretty funny. She's the sister in Montana. The post starts off about an adventure she had taking her dogs to the groomers, but she goes on to talk about Dad and Pearl.

Anyway, since Dad is in Montana right now Mary will meet Pearl first. In fact when I spoke to my Dad yesterday afternoon, he said he may be seeing Mary tonight. He's hoping they will be able to go to dinner together so Mary can meet Pearl. Of course in a family as large as ours is, the phone calls will be fast and furious. I expect Mary will be getting calls starting mid-afternoon and will carry on for days. Poor Mary. I almost feel sorry for her. Hehehe! The torture she will have to endure from her nosy siblings will almost wipe out all the "gimmes" she had by being the baby. *kiss,kiss* Sorry chica!

In case you were wondering, Pearl isn't Dad's first girlfriend. In the two short years since my Mom died there have been several. A couple of times he has speculated that women who rejected him were lesbians because they weren't interested in being intimate. Can you freaking believe that men still say that shit even when they are 75 years old? I almost came unhinged when he said that to me recently. Men can be such complete shits sometimes. Anyway, Dad has supposedly given up his harem for Pearl. Believe me, that ain't no little thing.

I hope it doesn't sound like we don't want Dad to have a girlfriend. 'Cause that's not true...well for most of us that isn't true. We aren't demon spawn. We all want our Dad to be happy. If Pearl floats his boat...good for him. I just hope she doesn't sink his boat or worse sail away in it and he has to come and live with me. Oops...that wasn't being very nice again, was it? Hell, who knows if he'd even want to live with me...he's got 8 kids to chose from. But you can see where I might be worried can't you?

So my Dad met this woman named Pearl in a bar. He's 74 and she's 54. I wonder what's going to happen next. Poor Mary, she gets to meet her first. I hope she leaves her cell phone at home.

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