Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year gentle readers and friends! I've been mulling over what my New Year resolutions will be. Most years I don't have any, but 2006 is a big year for changes and I want to chose wisely and focus on some personal changes. It will be interesting to be able to look back on this blog next year and see where I am and how I did.

I don't often make a commitment to resolutions because it seems absurd to make a list at a particular time of the year and think that because it is January 1st and a new year one would stick to a commitment better than any other time.

However, the imagery of a new year and a new beginning is a strong one, which happens to coincide with my personal desire to make some changes in my life. So, we will see what happens.

God knows there are several things I'd like to "work" on for my pesonal well being and growth, but I'm going to narrow it down to two.

Have you got any New Year resolutions? Here are mine:

1. I'm going to lose 50 lbs in 2006.

2. I'm going to work out 4 days a week.

These are huge commitments, but I think I can do it.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! I know I have been sadly, sorrowfully neglectful of my blog, but it's been Christmas season. The guy I live with is off work, I'm off work, the kids are out of school. Who's got time to blog?!!

We have, however, seen lots of movies...

FUN WITH DICK AND JANE - Thumbs down! Skip it! Just not that funny.

JUST FRIENDS - Funny and better than I thought it would be. The teen aged boy units thought it was HILARIOUS!

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE - Good, but in my opinion NOT as yummy as the A&E series with Colin Firth. Although the bloke (sorry can't remember his name right now) who played Darcy was pretty damn good.

THE FAMILY STONED - Good...not great and not what I expected. Bring kleenex.

SYRIANA - Waaaaay good, political. Depressing statement of our world affairs. Great acting though.

HARRY POTTER latest installment - Good movie. Better than the last. The kiddies at Hogworts are growing up and we really enjoyed it as a family.

I'm anxious to see:

MUNICH

THE PRODUCERS

RUMOR HAS IT

I've been reading too. Yippee!!! I'm currently enjoying Sherrilyn Kenyon's lastest. Wren's story. It's good!

Been reading lots of EC books. Jaid Black's Christmas story, Lora Leigh's little Christmas story and Sarah McCarty's "Sass" book. Enjoyed them all. All too short of course! : )

Well I'm off again. To bed this time. My new bed purchased from the infamous POTTERY BARN. See it below. After 20 years in a water bed (don't ask) I have a new bed with a REAL mattress and whole new bedroom suite of furniture. Can you say love it...love it...love it!!!



This is image from POTTERY BARN catalog. But you get the general idea. We actually have baskets under ours as well. Darker ones. Also bed is king sized. Comforter is taupe but all accents are similar deep red/burgundy.

I love it!

What have you been doing?

No posts, no browsing, just real life keeping me real busy!

I hope you are enjoying your holiday season. We have been busy with family, shopping, holiday parties, and of course, our outing to WHITE CHRISTMAS which was marvelous.

I've lots to tell you but little time to share. I have to go into work for a couple of hours today and then I'm off for almost two weeks!!

Catch you on the flip side!!

Writers Write

Once upon a forever ago, I took a correspondence writing class. While taking the class I discovered several things about myself. I don't take criticism well, one teacher's opinion does not have to change the way I write unless I let it, and best of all a piece of advice from Mr. Stephen King...writers write!

This gem was in a book where several best selling authors of the time were giving advice about writing or contributed pieces from classes they had given about writing.

Mr. King said some great things which have proven to be true in the author interviews Karen Scott does on her blog site. When asked about advice or influences most authors tell budding young writers to stay true to their own voice, don't try to follow market trends and to write what they know.

Mr. King said most of those things, but most importantly he urged that if you want to truly be a writer then you should write, write, write...every day. He went on further to say that being a writer is not distinguished by someone publishing something you've written. Being a writer is distinguished by sitting your butt down and putting pen to paper...metaphorically speaking...and writing.

Besides learning that I don't take criticism well, I also realized that I like to write at a whim. I really didn't like the deadlines for assignments. Assuming anyone wanted what I'd written, I'd be horrible getting things in on time. While we hear authors complain all the time about deadlines, I really can't imagine its reality. I've had deadlines at work...lots of them especially when I worked in a law office. But everything in my work world has been so cut and dry there wasn't any genuine creativity called for.

So here I am looking at my blank page to write my blog and what pops into my mind? Stephen King's words. Writers write! For you bloggers out there in blogland...you are all writers. You certainly entertain me, and you write almost every day. I hardly ever watch TV any more...I'm snooping into your lives by reading your posts. Writers all...every one. Writers write indeed. Thank you!

God Speed Richard Pryor

Memories of laughing until my sides ached; exposing our country's deeply rooted prejudice with humor; the movies with Gene Wilder; the drug problems; his resilience. He found out he had MS about the same time my Mom was diagnosed as well. Crappy disease!!

What a gift to the world he was!

Married Sex vs. Rad Sex

Do the words "married sex" bring a thought, image or feeling immediately to mind? How about the words "rad sex"?

Over the years, as with most couples who have been together for a time, the guy I live with and I have developed a code or short hand for our sex life. We were recently discussing our deeper satisfaction with married sex in the last year and noted our declining need for rad sex.

One might conclude that married sex is the more generic and dare I say more boring of the two sexual encounters. Frankly when we coined the phrase many years ago, we were definitely referring to less energetic sex when we used the words "married sex".

However, in recent years married sex has come to mean something else. Married sex is the comfort of feeling like you know what your partner really likes and enjoys. Married sex gives you the confidence to explore and venture into new areas without fear of your partner rejecting you. Married sex is a deeper enjoyment of a physical connection without it having to be an athletic marathon. Married sex is comfort, connection and satisfaction.

Rad sex on the other hand is sex for sex sake -- the jubilant in the moment sex. Rad sex is the let's have sex and enjoy the purely physical. Rad sex is the reminder of ourselves at our most basic. It is the satisfaction of a physical need that has more to do with following biology than it does with meeting emotional needs.

During some recent pillow talk we were just enjoying the fact that we feel lucky to still have both sorts of sex in our lives. Rejoicing that we still find each other attractive. Joking that the emphasis has become more about the connection we have than actually connecting.

I remember an older lady from our church saying in a class I was taking years ago that sex becomes less and less important as you get older. I was 27 at the time and had only been married a couple of years. I remember feeling shocked and disappointed by her comment. Sex becomes less important...not important at all! NOOOOOOO!!! Of course immediately after I got out of the class I turned to the guy I live with to splutter my horror and indignation! In the midst of my rant I realized something...things take me a moment sometimes.

Different strokes for different folks...literally. Sex, the type of sex, the frequency, etc. varies from couple to couple...why would it be any different as you age. It would be as personal and as individual as each couple and their relationship...wouldn't it?

Unwilling to broach the conversation with my mother, too big an ick factor. Who wants to know about their parents' sex life? Not me!

So instead I asked Greg to make a pact with me. We agreed to try and make it seem like the honeymoon was never over. Okay, not an original pact, but I couldn't stand the idea of sitting idly by and letting our relationship and sex life sink into the mundane. Imagining Greg like a brother or just a comfortable roommate was an even bigger ick factor than talking to my Mom about her married sex life.

Anyway fast forward about 5 years. A couple who had been married over 50 years and in their seventies were at a party at my parents' house. They had been friends and neighbors of our family for many years. Anyway, Dorothy who is still living and a real corker by the way, was relating a story about a conversation with her granddaughter. Her granddaughter had apparently asked Dorothy how old a woman is when she stops having sex. Dorothy's reply was, "I don't know. You'll have to ask somebody else." Can you tell I love this story? Attitude baby...bad ass attitude.

Greg heard the same story. I couldn't wait to talk to him. I wanted to shout to him. Did you hear that? That's going to be us!!! We are going to be the old couple still having sex in our seventies and grossing out our grandchildren!!!

Working Moms

This post comes from a moment I had in an interview this past Monday.
The woman I was interviewing for a management position made the following comment, "I know many women can, but I'm not one of them. Staying home with my children is NOT for me! My second son is now 4 1/2 months old and I need to get to work." What was implied in her comment and voice was that she was going bonkers being home with her two young children.

This wasn't the first time a woman has made this comment to me. Each time I hear it I'm a bit startled by it.

The woman in the interview was not an uneducated teen aged girl. She is in her mid-thrities, married with what appeared to be a settled and stable home life. Isn't it a reasonable conclusion to draw that if you have more than one child it was because you wanted to have kids? I mean, one child might be the result of an accident with birth control, etc. But if you have other children, might one conclude the parties wanted to have children?

That being the case making that particular comment always makes me cringe a little and wonder why the person had kids if they don't want to be with them.

Hey, I know we all need a break from parenting sometimes. I also firmly believe if working fulfills you then you SHOULD be working. I also think it's reasonable if you say you want to go back to work for economic reasons, passion for the work, or the medical insurance. But it just seems a little unsavory to say you can't stand to be with your kids and want to go to work to get away from them. At least that is the impression I'm left with.

Which leads me to my next thought about why people have children in the first place. Is the world still a place that once you marry you are expected to procreate? Honestly, you younger couples out there. Is there pressure to make babies? In the 21st century aren't we allowed to make other choices? I for one have always admired the person or couple who recognized that parenting wasn't for them and so they chose not to to have kids. Being a Mommy or Daddy is not for everyone.

In Rosie Fantasy World...which is here in my blog, I think every child deserves to be welcomed into the world with open arms and open hearts. It's a naive concept to be sure, but still a hope and philosophy I hold close to my heart.

There are so many situations and places in the world where there are virtually no choices for women. I think it is important for those women who have the luxury of choice and opportunity to chose wisely...to exercise the choice to NOT parent if it isn't for them. What do you think?

BTW, the comment did not affect the interview. She's a qualified candidate and is going on to the the second interview.

Feast or Famine?

It's always feast or famine with me. Either I have a hundred things I want to talk about or I can't think of a thing. Right now it's damn hard just finding a few moments to check out and read some of my favorite blogs and answer my email. Forget about getting a few cohesive thoughts written.

So now you are probably thinking. Cohesive? This woman is delusional! Do you think that I haven't noticed that some people have web pages, blog sites, etc. that revolve around one particular theme? Over time we begin to get a sense of the person and their interests. I seem to be all over the place.

For a person who is a list maker and pretty structured in their world (no snickering allowed!) it is disconcerting for me to realize how scattered I seem when I read my own posts.

I usually just go for the stream of conciousness thing because I found from the very beginning that if I think or plan too much I get, to coin a word made up by my BIL, "blogstipated". So I just let 'er rip.

See this blog was supposed to be about my adventures in all things Christmas. Since I'm now in the 5th paragraph of the post before mentioning what my original topic was supposed to be I'm guessing this post isn't really about Christmas.